A New Age of Rabbit
A journey for food turned into something deeper..a pilgrimage.
For context, this is a satirical piece about spirituality in the modern day. Not to be taken seriously. Only snickers and doodles.
There once was a rabbit who washed ashore to an unfamiliar land. This rabbit was found unconscious, his body moved by strong waves across the ocean until it met the shore of this new land. From a distance, a tall dark figure came closer to the shore, its silhouette getting bigger and bigger by stride. As the sun rose above the horizon, the silhouette gave way to the colorful figure of handsome Grey Wolf. The Wolf sniffed the rabbit, realized he was alive, and with his jaws, slung the rabbit onto his back.
Days later, the rabbit woke up to find himself in a warm cozy cave. His gaze turned to the wolf. And he spoke, “I’m hungry..can you please give me some food?” The wolf replied facetiously, “Well, I wanted to ask you the same.” A warm smile appeared on the wolf’s face. And out of the darkness, a pack of wolves emerged surrounding the rabbit. Coming to his senses, the rabbit’s survival instincts kicked in as he jumped for escape. His body was too weak and he collapsed into the bed. “Don’t worry,” the wolf reassured. “We aren’t going to eat you. We will give you the food you seek. But I sense that’s not the only thing you seek.”
The rabbit still hesitant to trust, replied “The land I come from suffers. The animals suffer too. I don’t know how to help them but I wish for every being to not have to suffer.”
The wolf took a moment of silence to take this in and smirked, “You took so long to get here. I thought you got lost. We’ve been waiting for you.”
From then on, the rabbit was taken in and treated like family. Seen once as prey, Rabbit became initiated into the tribe. And became just as strong in spirit as the other wolves. He learned the Ways of the Wolf, how to listen as the land speaks, how to honor the animals before him, how to dance unapologetically, the art of making love deeply, howl without reserve, practice magic and rituals, how to find joy in every moment of life and ultimately, an intimate sense of belonging. “A togetherness that feels like home,” Rabbit felt.
During his last ceremony with the wolves, Grey Wolf honored him with a new name, Howling Rabbit. For the rabbit’s howl even perked the ears of the wolves’ predators. As a parting gift, Howling Rabbit was gifted with the fur of a wolf, passed down generation to generation. “This will keep you warm and protect you.” Rabbit gratefully accepted. Upon leaving the wolf pack to head back to his homeland, Rabbit was granted permission to teach the Ways of the Wolf to those who were seeking something more in their lives. Equipped with the most rarest of gifts, he makes his way back to his homeland.
Within his first year back home, Rabbit built a following of devout practitioners. Mostly rabbits that inhabit the same land as him. After just months of practice, they learned how to find much gratitude and joy in every moment. They danced, they sand, they laughed. Life couldn’t be better! Such vigor and vibrancy was brought back to the land of rabbits that once felt so lonely and malnourished. In his devotion to healing all beings, Rabbit found true meaning in his life. He couldn’t be happier and his howling brought more rabbits from other lands to seek his wisdom and knowledge.
A few years go by. Howling Rabbit is now a teacher to thousands of rabbits. He is overwhelmed by the responsibility of teaching so many students. Students that were eager to end their own suffering. However, the sacrifice to his students took time away from his own litter birthed by his beloved wife. He didn’t have time to teach and feed his family at the same time. To solve this problem, he began asking for food as an exchange for his teachings. Something reasonable like 3 carrots per student. He also began teaching his most advanced students the ways of being a teacher. To teach them the Ways of the Wolf:
how to listen as the land speaks, how to honor the animals before him, how to dance unapologetically, the art of making love deeply, howl without reserve, practice magic and rituals, how to find joy in every moment of life and ultimately, an intimate sense of belonging.
His students became teachers. And they built their own following of students with great success, great fame and great riches. During this time, Howling Rabbit only took on a small manageable group of students and spent most of his time with his family, living a simple rabbit life. He observed his teachers from a distance and what he saw overtook him with disappointment.
Flashy Rabbit garnered the largest following from across the seas. His love affair for flair left everyone in his sight enamored by every word he spoke. He soaked the limelight like a sponge. With this high status, he charged 100 carrots per student. A significant price to pay compared to his own teacher’s ask. Even further, he required all student female rabbits to mate with him. “It’s the only way to deepen the gifts of the divine,” he would say. Under a hypnotic spell, his followers would comply without question. Needless to say, Flashy lost grasp of his own teachings immersed in style over substance.
Witchy Rabbit had a gift for magic. And with that, a vigor to teach those who desired to practice. With this passion, however, she lost sight of her students intentions in practicing magic. For a practice that takes times to master, her students desire for power outpaced their patience. Their powers grew too quickly for their own bodies to channel. And one day while casting an ambitious spell, their bodies imploded, bathing their altar with blood and rabbit guts.
Scowling Rabbit was the most intense of the group. They spent the most time honing the anger inside and alchemizing the energy to do something good. Such as fighting for equality for all rabbits. Unfortunately, upon teaching the ways of howling to their students, the emotion of anger was lost in translation. In fervent passion, Scowling’s students crossed sacred lands of the Tiger to demand justice for the rabbits considered “simply prey.” The whereabouts of these rabbit trespassers is still unknown today. However, it’s been rumored that the Tigers have grown a particular fondness for “Hare Soup.”
Wandering Rabbit wanted more. The teachings felt stale and old-school. Similar to Witchy, he considered the practice took too long to master — long enough to engulf three lifetimes of a single rabbit. So he decided to learn from other masters beyond Howling Wolf for a practice that can reach the pinnacle of bliss faster. He created his own teaching and began to adorn a Buffalo hide calling himself, Roaming Rabbit. In actuality, he is doing alright. Although, he has never met a real buffalo or paid homage to their lands before.
White Rabbit had the most devout students. She was the most serious student and now teacher of the Way of the Wolf. White brought a sense of sacredness to each moment of practice. Even diving deeper into the mysteries of the Wolf moreso than her own teacher. So what happened? White did not accept any rabbits with fur different than hers. She claimed, “The purity of these teachings must not be tarnished.” Brown, black, grey, and spotted rabbits were not allowed. In truth, she could not tell the difference from one brown rabbit to the next. Often, mistaking one for the other. Little did she realize her own teacher’s teacher, was Grey Wolf.
In response, Howling Rabbit gathered his teachers together. With love and warmth, he shared his concerns and encouraged them to continue practicing the Way of the Wolf or else they would lose sight of the truth of the teachings. Several of his student-teachers recognized their own animalness and were humbled with their mistakes. While others such as Roaming Rabbit found their own path that felt truer for them.
The story of Roaming Rabbit doesn’t end pleasantly. On a blistering hot day, a herd of buffalo approached Roaming’s land. At the front of this herd appeared to be a pink buffalo. We shall call him Pink. The rabbits reacted in commotion as they’ve never seen real buffalo before. “What are these beasts!” they cried. The closer the herd approached the more apparent it was that they were giants compared to rabbits. Despite the contrast in size, Roaming held his ground not knowing what he was about to face. Within paw’s length, Pink and his herd towered in front of the rabbit clan. Pink’s skin was blistered and scabbed baring pure flesh and bone. Bloodshot eyes bulging from his sockets. His body aching with the absence of..fur.
“I believe you have taken something that belongs to me.” Pink sputtered.
“And what do you believe that to be?” Roaming replied with defiance. His buffalo fur was so large that it wore him. One could barely see his ears poking out let alone his eyes. No wonder he didn’t see what was coming.
An argument ensued. No one listened to the other. Accusations were made and it was too late for resolution. The conflict escalated and the buffalo herd stampeded across the rabbit village destroying everything. They didn’t stop there. With vengeance, across the lands, they killed every rabbit they saw, whether or not they were with Roaming. A true tragedy. Yet, no one really stopped to ask if Roaming’s buffalo skin was truly authentic. It is rumored he acquired it from snake merchants in the “Amazon.”
Unfortunately, the massacre severely dwindled the rabbit population. What was left of the species gathered together to mourn. They cried, sang, even danced. It is in such suffering that they found solace in their faith and the Way of the Wolf. They lived nourishing lives reconnecting to the earth, to each other, and to Spirit. After some time, the rabbit grew back to a healthy number.
Years go by. The population of rabbits has increased exponentially. Howling Wolf dies. A portrait of him wearing his wolf fur sits on the altar of every rabbit. Although it has diluted over time, his teachings continue to live on. Years of devoted practice have been compressed into weekend workshops. Translations into squirrel, raccoon, and deer language have been written into books of stone. Unfortunately, most of them don’t have a knack for reading.
More years go by. Rabbits have lost their joy. They stopped listening to the land and honoring the animals before them. Dancing became a chore. They even forgot how to howl. Magic and rituals were abandoned to make way for newer technologies. And even with a healthy population of rabbits, what once was a survival mechanism has now transformed into an obsession with procreating. And just as the sacred teachings became diluted generation after generation, the “art of making love deeply” too lost its potency.
In place of it, came its distilled and distorted form, “making love furiously.” And over time, just “making furiously.” Rabbits making more rabbits furiously.
And that my friends, is the origin of the saying, “they f*ck like rabbits.”